I get asked a lot of the same questions over and over. Some of them are generic to working in the realm of adult entertainment, and some of them are specific to me. Here are the most common questions, and my own answers, based on my own experiences. Individual results may vary.
So, like, who are you?
I’m Rusty McMann. I model in "bear" and "daddy" porn and I provide companionship for men interested in spending time with a guy who’s mature, intelligent, and… well… built like a big ol' bear. I currently live in Las Vegas, Nevada, but travel as often as I can for both business and pleasure. I’m the kind of guy who’s perfectly happy in a big hotel with thick towels and a bathtub big enough for two men my size, but would really rather stay in a small pensione on a side street -- as long as there's air conditioning and indoor plumbing.
I was raised and educated in the northeast (with a few semesters in Europe), and lived in Manhattan for nearly 20 years before coming west. The various jobs I have done over the years include teaching high school English; writing travel guides on countries I’ve never been to; gutting fish in southeast Ireland; plenty of catering; and public relations in the non-profit sector. I was one of a team of writers on a nationally syndicated gay men’s sexual advice column, and I have published poetry, fiction, and non-fiction (under different names) in media as various as Art & Understanding, the New York Times, Salon and The San Francisco Chronicle.
What kind of stuff do you like?
My tastes in movies, books, men and food are all very eclectic, but in general I stick with things that are simple and classic. So my perfect fantasy date would probably include a French dinner (braised duck, steak au poivre, or maybe grilled salmon) with Colin Firth or George Clooney (with the extra 30 pounds he wore in Syriana) at a seaside restaurant where Andrea Marcovicci sings Rogers & Hart while accompanied by a grand piano and maybe a cello (I realize that this might require a time machine, but a guy can dream, right?!).
While I do enjoy getting dressed up in executive realness or black tie, I'm more likely to be found in a t-shirt and jeans (or shorts, since we have 9 months of summer in Las Vegas). What I like best are the kinds of clothes that are easy to get in and out of.
So that’s about it. My basic facts and figures are outlined below, and if there’s anything else you want to know feel free to ask… preferably over a Maker’s Mark Old Fashioned or two.
Facts n Figures
Current residence: Las Vegas, Nevada
Birthdate: December 9, 1962
Weight: 235# (more or less)
My cock is about 7.5" and I'm 99.95% top. That doesn't mean I don't like my ass eaten or my hole occasionally fingered.
What type of guys are you into?
Honestly, I'm attracted to all kinds of men: white, black, Asian, Latino, mixed race, whatever… smooth, hairy, skinny or big boned, cut or intact. What's most important is a friendly smile... and a nice ass doesn't hurt either!
What about safe sex? I saw that you've done some bareback videos... don't you believe in safe sex?
Of course I believe in safe sex. I am HIV-negative and I get tested at regular intervals. I have worked in the field of HIV prevention and I use condoms for anal sex -- most of the time. But I am also a consenting adult who sometimes makes informed decisions to fuck bareback with certain individuals.
What you need to understand is what you see in a movie -- even the lowest budget porn -- is controlled and manipulated for your viewing pleasure. The men I've done bareback scenes with were guys who, for one reason or another, choose to be fucked raw.
With the advent of PrEP, it seems that less and less gay porn is being made with condoms. I don't really have an opinion on this, but I acknowledge that it's the way things are and I'd rather have a current scene in circulation than not.
I almost never fuck raw with someone I've just met. Chlamydia and syphilis are just not the thrill ride they're cracked up to be.
So are you on PrEP?
No I am not. I have my own reasons for not taking this medication. I am not hostile to the idea of the drug and/or anyone taking it. If I got fucked with any regularity I would certainly re-consider my decision to not take it. And that's really all I want to express on the subject.
How long have you been doing this?
I started making porn in the fall of 2007 and I started escorting the following spring. How long is that?
How did you get started?
I’d thought about it on and off for years, but what finally brought push to shove was a plastic surgeon in Los Angeles who sent me a million messages through a bear chat site and wouldn't take no for an answer. Finally he offered me money. I suppose I should have been insulted, but instead I remembered the immortal words of Marilyn Monroe: "Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?" About a week later I put an ad on Craigslist and here we are.
But what made you... I mean... why do you...?
Why did I become a hooker?
As you can imagine, it’s a complicated story, and it goes back a very long time. But it’s something I’d thought about as early as my college days. When the world became too much for me and I wanted to escape, I didn’t think of going to a commune or becoming a beach bum – I imagined going to Paris and working the streets. Ultimately I was too much of a chickenshit to go through with it, and I’d probably be dead if I had.
Is being a hustler all you do?
I'm not a hustler. I use the term hooker because it helps keep me from taking myself too seriously, but there are different kinds of companionship workers. I work as an escort, which means that I place an ad and the clients make the initial approach. A hustler is someone who works a room and gets a guy interested and then mentions, “Oh by the way it’s gonna cost you.” I'm a very straightforward guy and I really don't have the balls to work the floor of the Bellagio asking guys at the tables if they want some company? It’s just not how I roll.
OK, but is it all you do?
No. I do a few other things. Like my writing. And sometimes I pick up construction gigs. Also I drive for Uber. And you can guess which kind of driving I prefer.
What kind of writing do you do?
I've published fiction and poetry, but lately I've been working on non-fiction, primarily of the OpEd variety. If you'd like, feel free to check out this piece in the San Francisco Chronicle, and this one that appeared in Salon.
Is Rusty your real name?
It's not what's on my birth certificate, but it's what plenty of people call me.
So what is your real name?
When we know each other well enough that I'm ready to tell you, you won't have to ask.
Do you date?
And before we go around in circles with this, let me save you a lot of trouble and say that this policy is unbreakable. I may reconsider dating some day, but if I do it will be LONG after I've retired from the worlds of porn and escorting. Please respect that this is a decision I've made after a lot of introspection and some unfortunate trial and error. Trying to argue me out of this will only result in my being irritated beyond endurance.
Changing gears... I'm not really very experienced... I'm afraid I won't be good enough for you
Oh please. Relax. I enjoy all kinds of fun with all kinds of guys. I love men. I love dick. I love ass. I'm sure we'll have a good time. I'm not worried about it, so please don't you be.
And besides: you might learn something.
What kinds of clients do you get?
I get the whole range: from 20 year olds who love daddy types, to 45-year-olds who’ve never been with a man, to the 73-year-old who's a wild fucking maniac and isn't ready to slow down -- regardless of what society (and most other guys) tell him.
I'm also popular with foot fetishists, because of my size 13 (which have starred in 3 -- count 'em 3! -- separate porn scenes!
A lot of married guys?
Of course. And not just married to women, either.
Do you ever get hired by really hot guys?
All. The. Time.
That's when I say, "Dad loves his work!"
But it's important to remember that a good 85% of the guys who hire me are men I'd go with in other circumstances. It is a total myth that the only men who hire can't get laid in other ways.
What do you do if the guy is horrible?
It has never happened. Ok that’s not true: there was one guy in a far suburb of Phoenix who literally looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. He was strung out on crack (or some white substance he was smoking through some kind of water pipe that had Welch's grape soda in the chamber), and couldn’t stay focused on anything for more than a couple of seconds. So I hung around long enough to make it an hour and I split. He wanted me to go to the cash machine with him so I could stay another hour, but I told him I couldn’t and split.
Have you ever walked out of an appointment?
No, though I've come close a few times.
But what drives me to want to leave is rarely physical. Instead, it's the guy's personality. I’m lucky. I love men. I love all kinds of men of all shapes and sizes and colors and tints and cut and uncut and hairy and smooth – well, you get the picture. And I can find enough attractive in almost anyone to spend an hour together. But if he's an asshole... well, that's something I have a lot of trouble with.
But I still stick it out for the whole hour -- or as much of it as I can.
What if he calls you again?
THAT is how I've fired a few clients...
We've all been in that situation where you're with a guy -- maybe even a guy who really turns you on -- and you just don't click. No harm, not foul and you both go one with your lives. It's when he doesn't get that you were not, in fact, having the time of your life that things get tricky.
Well what would make you not come back?
Ok here’s an example. When I was living in Los Angeles there was this guy who called me late at night from the other side of town – practically in another county. So I drive the 45 minutes to his place, and we have a lot of fun and we go at it for close to two hours. He was also kind of bossy and not someone I'd generally hang out with, but I gave him my best. By the time I get showered and I’m ready to go it’s after two o’clock and he says “You don’t want more than your $150, do you?” No tip, no extra dough for the late night and long drive. Now I’m not a greedy person and I’m usually very generous with my work “hour,” but this, I felt, was way beyond the pale. And the fact that he brought it up meant that he knew he was cheating me.
I’m not very good with confrontation (mostly because I lose my Irish temper very quickly), so I put the money in my pocket and drove home to West Hollywood in the middle of the fucking night. Then the next night around the same time he called and asked me to come back. “I’m not available tonight,” I said. “What about tomorrow night?” “Nope. Not available then, either.” Luckily, he got the hint and didn’t force me to say “never.”
Any other disappointments?
There’ve been a couple of guys who weren’t quite ready to be fucked, if you know what I mean.
That's disgusting. WTF?
No. Fucking. Idea.
So what's the strangest thing anyone's ever asked you to do?
Remember the movie “Chinatown”? Creepy old John Huston casually
explains to Jack Nicholson that “Most people never have to face the fact that at the right time and the right place, they're capable of ANYTHING.” What most people consider kinky sex is like that. There are a lot of things that you’d never initiate or ever think about when sitting in your living room that might just seem hot as fuck when the opportunity comes up with the right hot guy.
Well... I never in a million years would have thought about letting a guy empty a Corona longneck in to my ass and drink the beer as it came back out... but once he was actually sucking beer out of my asshole it was really kinda hot. Not sure I'd ever do it again, but...
Hey, you asked!
And what's the strangest thing you've ever done?
You'd be amazed at how many men just want to be held for an hour.
Once I went to a lovely apartment on New York's upper east side and lay with an elderly German gentlemen who showed me pictures of his grown grandchildren and talked of little old man kinds of things and I held him against my chest. Then I noticed that number tatooed on his wrist. It's neither hot nor gross nor strange, but I'll never forget him.
How has sex changed for you?
Well I certainly have a lot less of it now. I was a real slut back in the day, but now I like to keep my balls fully charged because you never
know when the phone is going to ring.
Also, I've gotten better at it. I pay more attention to what I'm doing and what the other guy is doing and I remember the things I like (and the occasional misfires) for future use. And that's really fun.
Do clients ever fall in love with you?
Of course. Or at least they think they do. They really fall in love with a cipher who looks and moves like me, but it rarely has much of anything to do with me, personally. I’m a certain physical type and certain other types are attracted to me. Most of my boyfriends have been in love who they thought I could be, so it's a phenomenon I'm quite familiar with. It goes back to why I started hooking in the first place.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been objectified for being a redhead. When I was a kid I was teased by the other kids and kvelled
over by the old ladies. As I got older, that objectification became sexual in nature. And for a long time I fought it. I mean, who wants to be reduced to the color of his pubic hair?
Then one day I woke up and sort of dug the fact that guys were attracted to me for the color of my hair. And then some time later I woke up and decided to capitalize on it.
And here we are?
And here we are.